


Daddy Issues Inc

by Librarian_Alexandria



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types, Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Human, But With Lesbians, F/F, F/M, I Marie Kondo'd the shit out of canon, One (1) Person asked for this, Texting, actually fuck me i guess genie asked for this, and her equally clueless counter part, and percy and annabeth are the chaotic power couple they were always meant to be, and the characters are a lot closer in age than canon, and they're idiots, anyway, are they ooc? who knows at this point, boring university year, choas bisexual: pipes mclean, featuring disaster lesbian: reyna ARA, frank and hazels age gap? did not spark joy, i promise its not as bad as it sounds that's a lie it totally is, no body asked for this, text fic, texting fic for a totally normal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-26
Updated: 2021-02-02
Packaged: 2021-03-12 03:48:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 10,068
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29004006
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Librarian_Alexandria/pseuds/Librarian_Alexandria
Summary: Piper changes the GC name to Daddy Issues Inc, which has little to no influence over anything, and what follows is completely unrelated.Jason introduces his fellow university freshmen to his boarding school friends, also attending Olympus University, throwing Reyna and Piper, equally oblivious and disastrous, together.but not like, together-togetheryetanyway its a texting fic about our favs at uni and they're chaotic and this was fun to write
Relationships: Minor or Background Relationship(s), Piper McLean/Reyna Avila Ramírez-Arellano, background Annabeth Chase/Percy Jackson, background Hazel Levesque/Frank Zhang
Comments: 22
Kudos: 64





	1. get u a boy who passes on the deets

* * *

**Good Peeps**

Annabeth C, Grover U, Jason G, Leo V, Nico dA, Percy J, Piper M, Thalia G 

[Percy changed the group chat name to _Daddy Issues_ ] 

**Daddy Issues**

**Piper**

wait 

[Piper changed the group chat name to _Daddy Issues Inc._ ]

**Daddy Issues Inc.**

**Percy**

ur so smart Pipes

**Jason**

God yeah we do all have daddy issues, don't we? 

**Percy**

Annies got mommy issues too 

**Annabeth**

while you may have a point, call me that again and I’ll block you 

**Percy**

u know threats dont work on me babe

it just makes u hotter :) 

**Annabeth**

You’re so stupid 

Come round after training? 

**Piper**

@ _annabeth_ peg him queen 

**Leo**

Pipes pls

**Percy**

no she has a point 

**Grover**

I don’t have daddy issues 

**Percy**

dont be rude g-man 

play along 

**Grover**

:/

_reply to_ **_Jason_ ** _: god yeah we do all have daddy issues, dont we?_

**Thalia**

No need to be so loud 

**Nico**

really guys 

**Jason**

Speaking of daddy issues tho 

Some of my boarding school friends got an app nearby 

They’re going to Oly’s too 

And they’re having a housewarming 

**Thalia**

Not those nerds 

**Jason**

Fuck off Thalia not all of us can take two consecutive gap years 

**Percy**

wait do u mean franks crowd? 

@ _nico_ didn’t ur sister go to jason’s weirdo school too? 

**Thalia**

Its like a boot camp for tiny child soldiers 

**Jason**

No it's not!! 

They were a bit strict 

**Grover**

What does this have to do with daddy issues 

**Jason**

well 

**Thalia**

Roma Boarding House isn't exactly where loving mumsies and daddies send their angels 

**Piper**

lmao sounds like wilderness @ _leo_ @ _jason_

**Percy**

did u ever go home jace?? 

boarding school AND summer camp?? 

**Thalia**

lol yeah our stepmom like despised us 

Still does technically 

But fuck her we dont live there anymore 

**Jason**

We,,, never really,, did 

You especially 

_reply to_ **_Percy_ ** _: @nico didn’t ur sister go to Jason’s weirdo school too?_

**Nico**

Hazel’s mom insisted 

She doesnt have the same… energy as a lot of the students 

I think Marie genuinely liked the school 

Plus we lived close by so Hazel wasn’t a boarder 

**Jason**

omg wait 

how did I not realize Frank's Hazel is your Hazel 

**Nico**

Excuse me 

FRANKS Hazel? 

**Percy**

uv done it now Jace

But hazel is a year younger than those guys right? 

she’s not moving in with,,, 

**Nico**

No the fuck she is not moving in with Frank 

Or Jason 

Or any of those boarding school pervs 

**Jason**

hey 

**Nico**

She still has a year to go before she’s coming to Olympus Uni 

And she is coming to OU

She hasnt been accepted yet obvs

But if they let idiots like Percy and Piper in they’ll have to accept her 

**Jason**

yeah but she’s gonna be at the housewarming 

BACK TO MY ORIGINAL POINT 

pretty please if you like them can they join the daddy issues inc? 

Percy already knows Frank and Reyna 

**Nico**

dont change the subject sparky

what’s going on with my baby sister and “Frank”??

**Percy**

why’d u say his name like that?? 

**Nico**

To indicate that I don’t trust him 

**Annabeth**

Really?? 

I had to mute this fucking chat 

50 messages?? 

And not one smart thing said among them,,,,

 _reply to_ **_Nico_ ** _: But if they let idiots like Percy and Piper in they’ll have to accept her_

@ _percy_ you’re not even going to defend yourself? 

_reply to_ **_Jason_ ** _: yeah but she’s gonna be at the housewarming_

 **Piper**

will there be booze 

**Jason**

yes 

**Nico**

Absolutely not?? 

My baby sister is gonna be there?? 

**Percy**

Shes like,,, five months younger than u neeks 

**Nico**

Irrelevant! 

She is a high school senior and I am a uni student 

Vastly different worlds 

**Annabeth**

Nico 

May i remind you that you skipped 5th grade 

**Jason**

omg Nico is the baby of the group omg 

how old are you?? 

you're like,, baby 

**Nico**

Lies 

Slander

U will both be hearing from my lawyers 

**Piper**

wiw we be heawing fwom youw lawyews?? 

Is that wight?? 

**Nico**

I know where u live McLean 

**Piper**

im twembling in feaw

  
  


**Thalia**

Cut the act di angelo 

We all know youre a huge softie behind that 2012 MCR facade 

**Grover**

Didnt you make the whole of 6th English call you the Ghost King after you did Hamlet? 

**Nico**

blocked

* * *

**Rap Sheet Longer Than Ur Dick**

Jason G, Leo V, Percy J, Piper M

**Piper**

um anyway time/address for the booze 

**Jason**

It’s a housewarming Pipes you can’t get smashed 

**Piper**

???

the fuck 

**Percy**

sap all the fun away why dont u Grace 

**Leo**

remind me why mr narc is on this gc again? 

**Piper**

wilderness friends are forever leo 

**Leo**

Percy wasnt at wilderness tho?? 

**Piper**

yes but he stole a cop car once so hes an honorary wilderness mongrel 

he was there in spirit 

**Percy**

aw pipes u make me blush 

**Jason**

I‘m sorry Percy did what 

**Leo**

omg percy why havent I heard this story 

**Percy**

Thalia must have told you by now?? 

**Leo**

No??

**Jason**

Thalia was involved?? 

**Percy**

ive said too much 

**Piper**

anyway 

booze ? 

**Jason**

I will not offer a piece of my liver when yours finally gives up 

**Percy**

i would offer mine but 

**Piper**

dont worry about it Perce

we live a totally rockstar life 

@ _jason_ reveal the Roma housewarming deets!! 

**Jason**

I’ll just add you to the group

Should I add the rest? 

**Percy**

Annabeth will commit murder if she’s put on a party details group 

ill pass on the deets 

**Piper**

get u a boy who passes on the deets

* * *

**That One Thing That’s Happening At Our Place**

Dakota B, Frank Z, Gwen T, Hazel L, Jason G, Larry M, Michael K Reyna ARA, + 6 Others 

[Jason added Grover U, Leo V, Nico dA, Percy J, Piper M and Thalia G]

 **Jason**

@ _reyna_

**Reyna**

Hi guys! Check the pfp for time and address 

Its BYOB/BYOW but we’ll probably pool for drinks and pizza 

Any plus ones? 

**Jason**

Percy’s girlfriend doesn’t like groupchats but she’s coming too 

**Percy**

dont confirm anything yet Jace, u know she’s got a busy schedule 

give me a sec 

good news folks 

**Hazel**

omg Nico you’re friends with Jason? 

**Frank**

Hi new people 

Just fyi 

Its me and @ _reyna_ ‘s new app 

So run any requests by us :)

**Nico**

So this is Frank 

**Percy**

Nico 

**Hazel**

Nico 

**Jason**

Nico 

**Nico**

Interesting 

Nice to meet you, 

“Frank”

**Frank**

Thanks?

**Percy**

Frank y didnt u tell me u were coming to OU?? 

**Frank**

Percy! I’m glad you’re coming 

And I didn’t know yet! 

Gran still wanted me to go to UT in Ontario up til like, a week ago 

**Hazel**

Frank’s got like 700 hours of volunteer stuff plus amazing scores so they couldn’t not let him in 

**Frank**

That’s a bit of an exaggeration.. 

**Reyna**

Don’t be modest! 

Also 

You don’t need to rsvp or anything 

But if you need to crash at ours you’ll have to bring a sleeping bag for the lounge 

No sleeping bag, no crashing at ours 

Just to keep track of things 

@ _michael_ are you bringing your guy? 

**Michael**

Not sure yet babes 

Will let you know 

**Larry**

cant make it guys :/ 

[Larry M left]

**Leo**

Hey guys 

Can I bring a girl? 

Do I have to bring more drinks if I bring more people? 

**Reyna**

Yes and yes

* * *

**Rap Sheet Longer Than Ur Dick**

Jason G, Leo V, Percy J, Piper M

 **Piper**  
OMG whyyyy are they so uptight?? 

if you don't want people crashing just say so?? wtf is the sleeping bag rule?? 

also 

LEO

SPILL 

**Leo**

her name is Jane 

she works at the cafe by Percy and Jasons 

I told her there would be free booze and hot girls 

or just hot girl

aka: Piper Mclean

**Piper**

oh 

OH 

did you ask a girl out for me??

is she hot? ;)

**Leo**

gross 

but yes 

I tried to ask her out but 

she has a septum and a lilac mullet 

i think frog socks 

**Piper**

stop i'm in love 

**Percy**

omg leo really 

you though a girl with a LILAC MULLET 

was straight????

**Jason**

Reyna's just trying to keep things organised 

I promise she's a lot more chill in person 

**Piper**

she better be 

im not gonna keep tally of how many drinks I've had or some dumb bullshit like that 

**Leo**

@ _percy_ i will not be bullied by bisexuals 

its not my fault Im the only straight delinquent on here 

we're a dying breed 

**Jason**

Im?? right here?? 

**Piper**

oh honey 

**Percy**

Jason you cuff your jeans 

**Leo**

yeah Jason 

((wtf do jeans have to do with anything??))

**Jason**

Piper you and I literally dated?? I'm straight?? 

**Piper**

uh huh yeah keep telling yourself that Mr i watch wrestling for the plot 

**Jason**

I??? Do?? 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> um anyway  
> also if the layout is confusing, the only reason some texts are right aligned is to break up the text, generally following the rule of right side gals/ left side guys unless its an all guys/all girls gc


	2. garbage cocktails

**Daddy Issues Inc.**

Annabeth C, Grover U, Jason G, Leo V, Nico dA, Percy J, Piper M, Thalia G 

**Thalia**

hey dorks 

lets do dinner and drinks? 

**Percy**

at ours? 

**Jason**

No 

The dishwasher broke Perce 

**Percy**

and ??

**Jason**

Do you really wanna clean up after these goblins 

By hand?? 

**Percy**

but,,, maybe u wanna? 

pleaseee 

**Piper**

Don’t sweat it boys 

Me and Leonardo just did some 

~cleaning~

**Leo**

Piperonni made me vacuum 

**Piper**

hush 

Leo will do tacos 

I will ensure veggie tacos appear as well 

Cocktails? 

**Percy**

i feel like its a tequila shots kind of night 

**Annabeth**

It most definitely is not 

**Grover**

cheers for those veggie tacos Pipes 

I’m sure Thals will like em too 

**Thalia**

oh Piper

I might propose 

Also, my cocktail vote goes to white russians 

**Percy**

ew 

lets do garbage cocktails pls pls pls 

I will bring custard 

nesquick? 

**Jason**

What on God’s green earth is a garbage cocktail

**Leo**

Only the best fucking thing we have ever created

**Percy**

uv never had a garbage cocktail????

where have u been jay 

**Annabeth**

It's their everything but the kitchen sink-esque monstrosity 

Sometimes it's good 

They just need supervision 

**Thalia**

Wine is off limits this time 

**Piper**

I’ve got half an absolut, ¾ of a Tito’s, two bottles of smirnoff (one of them is whipped cream??) and this mini thingy of rum

Oh and the last dregs of a Mailbu that Silena dumped here

**Leo**

theres two cans of white claw and a half bottle of white with no label 

**Annabeth**

Sweet fuck 

Please just throw it away 

**Leo**

Why would I do that?? 

It was still good 

**Jason**

YOU DRANK IT??

**Annabeth**

It's not even noon

* * *

**Piper Is Rich Lets Eat Her**

Leo V, Percy J, Piper M

[Percy changed the group chat name to _GARBAGE COCKTAILS_ ]

**GARBAGE COCKTAILS**

**Percy**

g a r b a g e c o c k t a i l s 

**Leo**

G A R B A G E C O C K T A I L S

**Piper**

garby tails

**Percy**

ok i have custard (not the powder shit i have a carton) 

and nesquick 

\- half a mint crisp 

\- ginger biscuits(?)

\- strawberry laces 

**Leo**

This is gonna be fucking amazing 

I didnt mention it but i have also unearthed a jack daniels 

**Piper**

We’re gonna see through time boys

* * *

**Daddy Issues Inc.**

Annabeth C, Grover U, Jason G, Leo V, Nico dA, Percy J, Piper M, Thalia G

  
  


**Grover**

rise and shine idiots 

**Annabeth**

Piper how could you do this to me 

**Percy**

hey quick question 

**Jason**

No, we don’t know where you are 

**Nico**

hes on my couch 

**Jason**

,,,,why 

**Nico**

I wanted mcdonalds and he has a car 

then he passed out while I was divvying up the fries 

he can crawl back to your side once he can stand

**Annabeth**

YOU LET HIM DRIVE?

**Nico**

No 

**Jason**

I didn’t know you could drive Neeks 

**Nico**

I

I have my learners 

**Annabeth**

Don't say anything more, you’ll only incriminate us 

**Percy**

figures the first time i get to see ur room redeco its while im smashed 

have u seen his walls jace?? no wonder idk where i was lol

**Leo**

Best 

Garbage 

Cocktails 

Ever 

**Piper**

Same time next week? 

**Annabeth**

No 

**Jason**

No 

**Grover**

No 

**Nico**

No 

**Percy**

??? 

yes??? 

**Jason**

hey Thals is very quiet 

**Piper**

oh about that 

hi jason 

I dropped my phone in the fish tank 

**Jason**

why are you still at Pipes 

**Leo**

omg i knew it 

**Jason**

Knew what?

**Percy**

uh oh 

**Piper**

Nothing happened! 

The cocktails knocked us out before too many bad decisions could be made

Piper threw up into my mouth though :( 

**Jason**

If you’ll excuse me, I’m going to rub bleach on my eyeballs 

* * *

  
  


**GARBAGE COCKTAILS**

Leo V, Percy J, Piper M

**Leo**

omg you totally bonked 

**Piper**

Leo you are aware that Thalia is 

a) still in my room 

b) reading over my shoulder 

**Leo**

Hey thals 

You two totally boned 

**Piper**

Thalia says if you call her thals again she’ll give you a diy nail clipper circumcision 

**Leo**

Ha jokes on her im already circumcised 

**Piper**

Thalia says that that has never stopped her before 

**Percy**

no comment 

**Piper**

But no 

We did not boink 

Just sloppily made out like drunk girls at a frat party 

I was sick halfway through :/

Thank god for that though 

**Percy**

ah young love 

**Piper**

Thalia says you can get some nail clipper action too 

God my head feels like someones standing on it 

Or in it 

Its like,, you know puffy paint? 

**Leo**

omg you’re right 

**Percy**

Piper ur a poet

* * *

**Daddy Issues Inc.**

Annabeth C, Grover U, Jason G, Leo V, Nico dA, Percy J, Piper M, Thalia G

 **Percy**

i can say with moderate confidence that thalia and piper did not bonk

**Annabeth**

Piper has now made out with more than half of us 

**Percy**

say i if pipes has licked your tonsils 

**Jason**

i 

**Annabeth**

i 

**Percy**

i 

**Leo**

i 

**Piper**

thalia says to say i 

she would like to clarify that while i was close enough to her mouth to vom in it 

we did not get to tonsil licking territory 

"this time"

**Jason**

Piper you make me wish that I was illiterate 

**Percy**

only the ghost of Mcdonald and g-man have ben spared 

tell us ur secrets 

**Nico**

yeah

hard pass Pipes 

**Grover**

I've been dating juni the entire time I've known you so 

**Piper**

both very compelling arguments 

**Jason**

oh fuck fuck fuck 

**Percy**

for all of u not in our apartment: Jason has now dunked his head in the sink and is pouring lukewarm kettle water over his hair 

just take a shower ff

**Piper**

I knew the madness would claim him eventually 

**Annabeth**

oh shit 

**Percy**

not u too babe 

**Jason**

Shower sounds will make my ears pop if I'm this hungover

You know this Percy

**Annabeth**

the housewarming is this afternoon 

they specifically set it at like 3 

**Piper**

fucking prep behaviour that is 

what are you supposed to do in broad daylight?? 

play scrabble?? 

**Annabeth**

PIPER IT IS 2PM 

**Jason**

WE ARE ALL DISGUSTING AND HUNGOVER

**Piper**

good

god knows this party wont have the same effect 

**Grover**

speak for yourself you alkies 

i woke up at 6am and did yoga with Juniper 

  
**Leo**

sorry grover stoners have no rights :/ 

**Percy**

jason is cleaning the kitchen?? 

all i did was ask for lunch and he told me that i needed to brush my teeth and then

he licked his hand 

and sniffed it 

gagged 

and now he is cleaning??

**Piper**

omg you've really set him off this time 

he's stress cleaning 

you broke him 

**Percy**

i broke jace?? 

im not the one who licked his hand!!

or his sister @ _piper_

**Piper**

blockt

you shut your mouth 

harlot 

**Annabeth**

I'm doing carpool there right? 

@ _grover_ you good to be dd? 

**Grover**

as always :) 

**Annabeth**

You're a goddamn saint 

Is anyone staying at theirs? 

Need sleeping bags? 

**Piper**

Thals isn't drinking tonight, she's taking me on the bike

ugh she says we will bring bags just in case 

**Percy**

y are u all so freaked 

its just frank and reyna 

**Annabeth**

And all their friends!!

This is their first impression of us!!

**Piper**

well, good thing its accurate 

**Annabeth**

I hope you fall off of Thalia's bike you heathen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi i have nothing to say


	3. God speed you degenerate fuck

**Rap Sheet Longer Than Ur Dick**

Jason G, Leo V, Percy J, Piper M

**Piper**

Leo i hope miss mullet likes grimey skater girls 

**Leo**

Oh fuck i forgot to tell her it was today

Ahh is it too late to tell her?

**Piper**

Its 3??

How did you forget 

My one and only chance at true love?? 

**Percy**

unlikely 

based on your track record, dear pipes, 

the result would be a heartbroken mullet having lesbian 

and an extra piercing 

**Piper**

My left nipple could do with some sprucing up 

**Jason**

What is it with you lot and mullets? 

**Piper**

Oh youre done with your meltdown? 

**Jason**

Oh you’re done puking in my sister's mouth? 

**Piper**

Fair 

**Leo**

I never got to ask 

Jason, how was your first experience with 

Cocktail a la garbagé 

**Jason**

I 

I’m deeply afraid 

Because 

,,,I liked them??

**Leo**

Atta boy Jason

**Piper**

Right, thals and I are off, see you lot there? 

**Percy**

Annies on her way 

@ _leo_ how r u getting there?? 

**Leo**

Oh right jane was my ride 

Can annie swing by ours? 

**Jason**

What if you walk to the bus stop by the spice shop? 

It's not too far and almost on the way 

**Leo**

Jason, you brilliant, brilliant man 

Oh god the sun is way too bright 

I’m never opening my eyes again 

**Jason**

Serves you right 

* * *

**Daddy Issues Inc.**

Annabeth C, Grover U, Jason G, Leo V, Nico dA, Percy J, Piper M, Thalia G

**Jason**

Anyone got eyes on Thalia 

**Leo**

impressing some poor impressionable boarding school folk with her vodka chugging skills 

Oh 

Blondie’s pouring it in her mouth now 

This feels wrong to watch 

**Piper**

SHRS MY RIDW HOME

**Annabeth**

Christ 

It's only 9 

**Percy**

i didnt want to spoil it 

but the reason they start early is so that u can get plastered and pass out at 12 

then wake up at a normal time 

v boarding school efficient 

**Jason**

A skilful tactic 

**Piper**

whay am iw going ruo do??

**Percy**

um ??

stay over? 

u brought bags 

**Piper**

Oh yeagh

* * *

**Private Message between Annabeth C and Piper M**

**Piper**

Omg anbabeth 

I knowo yooru straight 

**Annabeth**

I am not 

**Piper**

thatsa a preoblem for another day 

**Annabeth**

I see 

Do you need a ride? 

I can still send Grover back, we’re only 5 mins away by now 

**Piper**

No nop yoiu go home boo 

I just 

You sawy Retna right???

**Annabeth**

Yes I saw Reyna 

I said hi to her 

Like a normal human 

**Piper**

Her armsssdss 

She tried her hair up 

theyrd hugedr???? 

**Annabeth**

She is very strong 

Percy says she does kickboxing and soccer 

**Piper**

artre you tryinb to killl me??? 

As if shte coylds get any hotter 

:((((((

**Annabeth**

Oh I see 

How’s the sleeping bag on the floor? 

**Piper**

uncomgy :(( 

I wont br here for lonb tho ;))) 

**Annabeth**

Pipes maybe have some water 

**Piper**

Gwen alresasty bavbied me Annabetg 

Im fine

Itd thesr stupiod keyts

Too sensxitive 

**Annabeth**

Well then 

I’m home

Are you going to bed? 

**Piper**

Inm fgoing to A baed 

;)))

**Annabeth**

God speed you degenerate fuck 

Percy says hi 

Well 

He says 

“Tell pipey I say hello but not hello like hello but in a cool way”

**Piper**

Imn in lobe with yoiur beefend

* * *

**That One Thing That’s Happening At Our Place**

Dakota B, Frank Z, Grover U, Gwen T, Hazel L, Jason G, Leo V, Michael K, + 10 Others 

**Michael**

Thanks loves! Great night 

**Gwen**

Nice to meet all of you! R and F, love the new app 

Have fun cleaning up that kitchen ;)

[Michael K, Gwen T, Dakota B and 6 others left the group] 

**Jason**

Thanks for a great party Reyna, Frank

Thanks for letting me bring my non-roma friends 

**Reyna**

ofc dude 

Anytime 

Great meeting you guys 

[Reyna removed Frank Z, Grover U, Hazel L, and 6 others]

[Reyna left the group]


	4. omg dumbass i mean the hot one with the muscles

**Daddy Issues Inc.**

Annabeth C, Grover U, Jason G, Leo V, Nico dA, Percy J, Piper M, Thalia G

[Jason added Frank Z and Reyna ARA]

  
  


**Jason**

Please be civil 

**Piper**

Oh I have to be, I’m still there 

**Percy**

dude,, dont text the gc before 10am 

u know the rules dumbass 

**Annabeth**

Percy be nice 

No pancakes if you’re mean 

**Percy**

omg annies making pancakes 

**Annabeth**

Just for that, I’m going to spit in yours 

**Piper**

hottt 

**Percy**

right? 

im so lucky 

**Nico**

yuech 

**Percy**

there u are neeks 

where were u last night??

u disappeared for like an hour :((

**Reyna**

Ah, my fault 

We got take out 

**Piper**

Nico do you just seduce poor party goers into buying you junk food?? 

**Nico**

noooo

**Frank**

Hi all :)

**Nico**

Youre on thin ice buddy 

I saw you last night 

**Piper**

omg what did Frank do??

**Nico**

He groped hazel 

My little baby sister 

WHO IS STILL IN HIGH SCHOOL

**Percy**

Frank how could you 

**Leo**

Thats so not what happened??

Mr clumsy (who will remain nameless) barrelled down the hall 

And frank the wise 

Gently scooted his gf out of the line of destruction 

**Percy**

aw frankie 

**Nico**

Thin. Ice. 

**Annabeth**

Please ignore all of them @frank @reyna

* * *

**Escape the Bromance**

Annabeth C, Piper M, Thalia G

[Annabeth added Reyna ARA]

**Annabeth**

Ah, the smell of the absence of man sweat and heterosexual prolonged eye contact 

[Piper changed the group chat name to _BDE: Big Dumb Emos_ ] 

**BDE: Big Dumb Emos**

[Annabeth changed the group chat name to _Anti-Mainsplain Bubble_ ]

**Anti-Mansplain Bubble**

[Piper changed the group chat name to _GALmance_ ]

**GALmance**

**Annabeth**

Oh its like that is it 

[Annabeth changed the profile photo]

**Piper**

Annie no 

[Piper removed the profile photo] 

**Annabeth**

>:)

[Annabeth changed the profile photo]

**Annabeth**

1 attachment: piperandaimie.jpg

**Piper**

Oh that was her name 

**Reyna**

I-

**Thalia**

Whats up beetches 

Daddy’s rich and thinks gifts = love 

Guess who has a new phone

same # and everything 

Oh hi Reyna 

Ugh is that aimie??

* * *

**Private Message between Annabeth C and Piper M**

**Piper**

Annabeth how could you?? 

**Annabeth**

:) 

Did you get “to A baed” last night? 

**Piper**

no 

unfortunately 

Thalia sobered up while i was hyping myself up 

Told me i shouldnt go for it drunk 

Lest i repeat our own little adventure 

**Annabeth**

Well she had a point Pipes 

**Piper**

ugh 

I meant all of it 

Her arms?? 

I want her to step on me 

**Annabeth**

Also: did you really get so drunk you thought I was straight? 

**Piper**

Listen 

I dont want to offend you babes 

But 

**Annabeth**

Don't say it 

**Piper**

You have mild republican vibes 

**Annabeth**

Stop 

**Piper**

Very,, christian girl fall 

**Annabeth**

How dare you 

**Piper**

If it wasnt for the firsthand experience, I’d swear you were straight 

or at least in denial 

**Annabeth**

I’m so hurt Piper??

I just tried to ask Percy if I have straight vibes 

And he just said 

“Babe...”

And did that thing where he sucks air in through his teeth while rocking on his heels 

I’m devastated 

**Piper**

Maybe get dyed streaks 

Blue on one side 

Pink on the other 

Natural blonde for the yellow?

Oooooooo

I just got the best idea 

**Annabeth**

I’m not dying my hair!!

* * *

**Private Message between Percy J and Piper M**

**Piper**

Percy 

Percy 

Percy 

**Percy**

Did u tell annabeth she has straight vibes??

we swore not to tell her!!

**Piper**

Well she made that photo of me and aimie the pfp on a group reyna is in 

Vengeance was necessary 

**Percy**

ew 

not the one with the rosé bottle 

with her,,

y’know 

**Piper**

Listen 

I dont need to defend what i do or do not do with my tongue 

**Percy**

its so thin?? 

how d u fit BOTH in that bottle?? 

**Piper**

Aimie has a snake tongue 

Obvs 

And not in a good way :/

**Percy**

unfortunate :/

**Piper**

Anyway 

Lets dye our armpit hair????

**Percy**

omg yes???

yes yes yes 

**Piper**

I want bi flag on the left 

Neon pink on the right 

I have that tube from pride that Silena gave me

**Percy**

yes ????

yes 

i’ll go buy it like right now?? 

pink and blue and we’ll mix the purple?

**Piper**

can we do it at the park bathrooms 

pleasee 

**Percy**

yes???

meet u there in half an hour?

**Piper**

we are so fucking smart 

We are like gods 

**Percy**

Annabeth wants to know whats happening 

**Piper**

Tell her lmao 

**Percy**

she says she’ll help us with the bleach!! 

**Piper**

I swear if I wasn’t set on your new friend 

Id want to be in a trio with you two 

**Percy**

my new friend??? 

pipey babes frank is in a relationship 

as is hazel 

with eachother 

**Piper**

omg dumbass i mean the hot one with the muscles 

Reyna 

**Percy**

oooooh

u called her uptight tho? 

**Piper**

That was before I saw her shotgun two cans of pine twist 

Holy fuck 

  
  


* * *

[Percy created the group chat Once and Future Threesome] 

**Once and Future Threesome**

[Percy added Annabeth C and Piper J]

**Percy**

11.30 

park bathroom stall four 

i’ll bring the normal colours 

Annabeth has bleach fr some reason?? 

**Piper**

Its cuz shes super smart 

**Annabeth**

I feel like a chunk of a prior conversation is needed to explain that group chat name 

**Percy**

we’re hot 

pipes is hot 

threesome impending 

**Piper**

except Ive fallen for miss kickboxing 

Alas, our fated triad will never be a reality 

**Annabeth**

I see 

Well 

I guess that makes sense? 

**Percy**

ofc it does me and pipes came up with it 

**Piper**

See you soon, my starcrossed lovers 

* * *

**Private Message between Piper M and Reyna ARA**

**Reyna**

Hey it’s Reyna 

Idk how to preface this 

I think you left your bra behind? 

None of my friends claim it 

And I know Thalia only wears sports bras 

So

Are you missing a blue tee-shirt bra? 

**Piper**

omg Im so sorry 

I rarely get that drunk I promise 

I must have chucked it before I went to sleep

**Reyna**

I’m sorry if this is out of line 

But how does one forget a bra without a change of clothes? 

Did you just… not notice that you didn’t have one this morning??

**Piper**

lmao if you knew me you’d know how funny that question is 

But no I just didn’t notice, me and Thals p much bolted after she woke up 

Sorry about that by the way 

She had to have brunch with some people or something 

And I needed her to drop me off 

Again, Im so sorry 

**Reyna**

Relax, I’m fresh out of boarding school, it’s not like I’m a stranger to discarded bras 

I’m guessing you want it back? 

I’m meeting up with Jason tomorrow, should I pass it on to him? 

**Piper**

lmao no I would never get it back then 

I can just get Percy to swing us by yours again later 

I’m meeting him soon anyway 

If that’s okay? 

**Reyna**

Yeah no of course 

We’re here all day 

You and Percy are welcome to stay for lunch if you want? 

Frank is doing hangover cure fry up

**Piper**

That sounds wonderful 

It’s really no problem? 

**Reyna**

Ofc not 

Anytime :) 

* * *

**Once and Future Threesome**

**Piper**

REYNA HAS MY BRA 

AND WE’RE HAVING FRANKS FRY UP

WHEN PERCY SWINGS ME BY HER PLACE

TO RETRIEVE SAID BRA

**Percy**

omg hangover cure fry up?? 

this day gets better and better 

oh i couldnt decide what brand of hair dye so i asked the lady 

and then i had to explain my plan 

apparently its not that common?? 

**Annabeth**

Honestly Piper I’m surprised you even wore a bra at all 

**Piper**

Ikr?? 

She was like “how do you not notice?”

lmao just wait til she goes to cocktail night 

**Percy**

reyna would love garbage cocktails tbh 

**Annabeth**

So let me get this straight 

**Piper**

* let me run this bi you

**Percy**

when we get there ur getting a high five 

**Piper**

Sweet 

**Annabeth**

I feel like a third wheel 

Anyway 

In ten minutes we meet up at the park

Then afterwards you and Percy head back to his place 

And take the car to Reyna’s for lunch and a bra? 

**Piper**

Yes


	5. You think I’m straight??

**Private Message between Piper M and Reyna ARA**

**Piper**

Thanks so much for having us over! 

I had a really great time 

Again, sorry about the bra 

**Reyna**

Ofc! You and Percy are great company 

After seeing what you two did to your armpits, I am much less surprised that you forgot your bra at a strangers house 

**Piper**

Hey, Annabeth helped us with those! 

Therefore there was have been something sensible in there 

**Reyna**

Interesting colour choices too 

**Piper**

Oh yeah, I wanted to use up some leftover neon 

Funny story about the other one though 

A bit long though 

**Reyna**

Now you have to tell me!

**Piper**

Okay so 

It started because Annabeth sent that horrible photo to the girls chat 

I swear, nothing like that has happened in a long time 

**Reyna**

Oh that’s nothing 

**Piper**

Oh? 

**Reyna**

No no, you first 

**Piper**

I’m overwhelmingly curious 

Anyway 

Turns out while i was drunk at your housewarming 

(again, sorry) 

I forgot she was pan 

And called her straight 

**Reyna**

Ouch 

**Piper**

So when she asked me about it I got my revenge by revealing that she has straight girl vibes 

And she was understandably upset 

I mean not like 

There’s nothing wrong with being straight? 

**Reyna**

You’re not serious 

You think I’m straight??

**Piper**

I don’t want to assume !! 

**Reyna**

How did this lead to dyed armpits? 

**Piper**

Im getting there! 

I suggested she dye streaks on each side 

One blue, one pink, and then have her natural colour be the yellow 

**Reyna**

Like the flag? 

**Piper**

Exactly!

**Reyna**

I’m going out on a limb here and saying she didn’t 

**Piper**

Unfortunately 

However 

It inspired me, and I inspire Percy, and here we are 

**Reyna**

Not to assume 

But it’s the bi flag then? 

**Piper**

Oo my turn 

You think i’m straight??? 

**Reyna**

With that many question marks? 

Never 

**Piper**

Fair point 

**Reyna**

Honestly, besides Hazel and Frank 

Are there even straights left in our combined friend groups? 

**Piper**

Leo 

Poor guy 

And Jason (according to him) 

**Reyna**

Jason?? 

**Piper**

Ikr?? 

I dated the guy, I should know 

**Reyna**

Oh my god, really?

I dated him too! 

Way back when we were wee teens 

**Piper**

Omg he never told me 

**Reyna**

The ex-boyfriends of lesbians rarely do 

**Piper**

Ah 

That makes sense

**Reyna**

Luckily it was a mutual thing

* * *

**Private message between Annabeth C and Piper M**

**Annabeth**

Sooooo 

How’d it go? 

Got your bra back? 

Did you… swap? 

**Piper**

Worst timing AnnaB 

I’m in the middle of talking to Reyna!! 

SHES GAY 

Oh happy days 

**Annabeth**

Obviously?? 

You have such a shit gaydar 

First me and now Reyna? 

**Piper**

Only when it comes to hot girls ;)

**Annabeth**

Okay that was smooth I'll give you that one 

**Piper**

I really have to get back to Reyna!! 

I’m gonna angle for a “date”

But just call it grabbing coffee 

You know she dated Jace too?? 

Omg perfect i can use that to bond 

Im so smart 

**Annabeth**

Yes very smart Pipes 

Go get her 

* * *

**Private Message between Piper M and Reyna ARA**

**Piper**

omg sorry about that 

Annabeth felt the need to bully me about my bra habits again 

**Reyna**

Haha no worries 

_reply to **Reyna** : Luckily it was a mutual thing _

**Piper**

Ours too 

Just felt rushed, y’know? 

Five months in you’re like 

Do I even know this guy? 

**Reyna**

I did not make it to five months 

Fortunately for both of us 

I realized I didn’t like men 

Jason realized he was a touch-starved jock who couldn’t tell apart platonic and romantic feelings 

Alls well that ends well 

**Piper**

We should form a club 

**Reyna**

Don’t we already have a daddy issues club? 

**Piper**

Touche 

I had such a good time chatting earlier 

And now obvs 

I was wondering if you’d like to hang out again? 

Compare Jason and Percy related horror stories? 

**Reyna**

That sounds wonderful! 

I’m free on wednesday afternoon? 

We could do coffee at that cute place near Smiths? 

**Piper**

omg they have such good milkshakes there 

**Reyna**

I’ve never had one there actually 

I usually just grab a flat white 

**Piper**

You have to get one?? 

Okay now we have to go there 

2 sound good? 

**Reyna**

2 is perfect 

**Piper**

Great :))

* * *

**Private message between Annabeth C and Piper M**

**Piper**

ANNABETH

WE'RE GETTING SHAKES AT LOTUS CAFE

**Annabeth**

YES PIPER 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idk where this is going?? but i'll probably wrap it up in a few chapters


	6. You defiled park stall 4 to dye your armpits?

**Daddy Issues Inc.**

Annabeth C, Frank Z, Grover U, Jason G, Leo V, Nico dA, Percy J, Piper M, + 2 Others

**Jason**

As his flatmate, I feel it necessary to share with you all the latest Percy incident 

**Leo**

Oh no 

If this is what i think it is 

Piper was involved 

**Frank**

I think I already know… 

**Nico**

Well I dont?? 

And I’m his flatmate too dickhead 

**Jason**

You don’t live here 

You live in a room that happens to be in our apartment 

**Percy**

jason has a point there 

**Thalia**

Speak of the devil and he shall appear 

What did Percy and probably Piper do this time 

**Grover**

Please tell me there are no open wounds 

They promised they wouldn’t go to Em's lot without me :(

**Percy**

i would never!! 

no skate related traumas, i promise 

**Piper**

Yeah, Grover, how could you even accuse us of such a thing? 

You know it’s no fun without you smoking on the sidelines, cheering us on 

**Percy**

we need u there to bring the band aids 

no wounds at all in fact 

well not none actually 

**Thalia**

What did you two do??

**Annabeth**

I said I was sorry Percy 

**Piper**

Dont be a baby Percy 

It’s just a mild chemical burn 

**Nico**

Did you dye your hair?? 

**Annabeth**

Armpit hair 

**Nico**

You too??

**Annabeth**

What 

No? 

I was there to administer the bleach and make sure they didn’t get neon pink dye all over park stall four 

**Thalia**

You defiled park stall 4 to dye your armpits? 

Shame on you 

Thats a hookup stall and you know it 

@ _piper_ I expected this from those two, but you of all people should respect stall 4

**Frank**

Do I want to know? 

**Jason**

Don’t ask, that’s my general rule 

Wait a minute 

If Piper did it too 

How much armpit hair do you have Pipes?? 

**Piper**

That’s not a very gentlemanly thing to ask a lady, Jason 

**Percy**

lady??

ladies dont leave underwear behind like breadcrumbs 

**Piper**

fuck off 

**Annabeth**

Piper has a perfectly average amount of armpit hair 

**Thalia**

I can vouch for that 

**Jason**

Gross 

I know why Annabeth is now acquainted with Pipers current pits 

Why the fuck do you know??

**Thalia**

??

Why wouldn’t I know? 

Piper takes her shirt off more than anyone I know 

I’m impressed with your self restraint @ _piper_ if Jason hasn’t seen you topless in so long he's forgotten 

**Piper**

Can we move along please

* * *

**Private message between Jason C and Reyna ARA**

**Reyna**

Hey Jason? 

**Jason**

What’s up? 

**Reyna**

What’s the story with Piper and your sister? 

They seem… close? 

**Jason**

Oh that 

Piper tends to be pretty flirty with most of us 

She and Thalia had an on-off thing so they have this back and forth a lot

And she gets affectionate when she drinks 

Most of are used to her aggressive flirting, don’t read too much into it 

Don’t let her freak you out, ok?

**Reyna**

Oh got it 

That makes sense 

**Jason**

Hey Reyna? 

**Reyna**

Yes?

**Jason**

Please tell me you’re not into my sister 

I’m not trying to be protective brother bullshit 

But she’s known you for a while and I think she needs a friend in you 

**Reyna**

Oh my god Jason I’m not trying to get with Thalia

Well 

Not anymore 

**Jason**

Omfg 

Why has everyone hooked up with my sister??

* * *

**Daddy Issues Inc.**

Annabeth C, Frank Z, Grover U, Jason G, Leo V, Nico dA, Percy J, Piper M, + 2 Others

**Thalia**

I didn’t get to vote last time because my phone was in a bowl of rice 

(thank you for your effort Leo) 

But I think garbage cocktails again this friday?? 

I’ll host 

Frank and Reyna deserve to see the mess Jason got them into

**Piper**

I‘m not sure 

It’s the last week before classes start 

**Percy**

that’s why we gotta go in with a bang! 

Reyna ur gonna love this 

**Reyna**

Not gonna lie 

garbage cocktails sound exactly like the kind of weird drink you'd invent, Percy

**Leo**

He doesn't get all the credit! 

@piper You're worried about school?? 

**Piper**

nvm 

Let's do it 

**Jason**

Oh fuck it 

One last hurrah 

**Frank**

I'm so scared 

Can I bring Hazel? 

**Nico**

Absolutely not 

I was just starting to like you, Frank

* * *

**Private message between Leo V and Piper M**

**Leo**

Piper wtf 

Whats going on with you? 

**Piper**

Wdym

I'm fine?

**Leo**

no??? you so arent 

Since when do you say no to cocktail night?

And don't lie, I can read your texting tone and you're way off rn

Piper

ugh

Ok fine

I don't want Reyna to get this idea of me that she probably already has

Like she probably thinks Im just a sloppy drunk that sleeps around

**Leo**

I don't wanna hurt your feelings Pipes 

but 

**Piper**

Im serious Leo!

I think I really like her

I was at hers today and Frank and Percy started chatting so it was just me and her

and I just 

She's something else

I want to get to know her and like,, maybe something more??

But I don't want her to think I'm just trying to sleep with her

**Leo**

okay wow 

You really like her

**Piper**

You of all people can't judge me mister 3-day-confession

**Leo**

No fair! 

You promised you'd drop that once we got to uni! 

**Piper**

Still a week to go :))

**Leo**

You should become a lawyer instead 

The arts are wasted on you

**Piper**

yuck 

Never 

You want pizza? I'll pay

**Leo**

omg yes I love you 

Pepperoni pls 

We still have avocados right? 

**Piper**

obvs 

* * *

**Rap Sheet Longer Than Ur Dick**

Jason G, Leo V, Percy J, Piper M

**Jason**

Okay game plan guys 

You can't ask why but one of you needs to stay at Thalia's after the cocktails 

And keep an eye on Reyna for me 

Since she said she's gonna stay over

**Piper**

wtf 

Why?

You think she's gonna steal Thals bike or something? 

You're so weird

**Jason**

Literally just said don't ask why 

**Percy**

pipes u always crash at Thals if we drink there 

**Piper**

Now it's different because now it benefits Jason 

**Jason**

omg really Piper?

What's this about 

**Leo**

Everyone is so testy today

**Percy**

gotta admit J

this is a bit weird 

if u asked us to keep an eye on piper i'd get it 

no offence Pipey 

**Piper**

I know you mean it with love <3

**Percy**

suolmates <3

**Leo**

suolmates 

**Piper**

suolmates 

**Percy**

leave me alone im dyslexic 

didn't even have to use google for that ^

**Piper**

Proud of you

**Jason**

Reyna was just asking about Thalia a lot today 

And I know its none of my business 

And it's none of your either btw 

but I think Reyna might have thing for her 

And I love them both but yikes they'd fuck each other up in a relationship right now 

So I need to make sure they don't do anything stupid? 

**Percy**

oooh 

yeah that checks out 

a lil creepy getting involved in ur sisters love life tho 

**Jason**

Like you wouldn't intimidate Estelles future boyfriend 

**Percy**

shes two??

**Jason**

FUTURE 

Please just back me up on this guys? 

**Piper**

Whatever 

* * *

**Private message between Leo V and Piper M**

**Piper**

Can you please poison my pizza

**Leo**

I'm sure Jasons just being Jason 

aka weird and over-controlling

**Piper**

Yeah but Reyna and Thalia already know each other

Jason knows Reyna better than all of us

**Leo**

Jason is not exactly known for being good at emotion stuff 

**Piper**

I've literally known her for a day

I feel so dumb for getting so invested

**Leo**

that's life baybee

Can't control how fast or hard you fall 

Trust me, I would know

**Piper**

Life can suck my dick

Guess I'll spend my Friday keeping apart my sort-of-ex and my hopefully-future-gf

yay

**Leo**

At least we have pizza?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes Piper and Percy are skaters and Grover comes with them for the ~vibes~


	7. oOoO iM aNnAbEtH iM dEaLiNg WiTh My IsSuEs

**GARBAGE COCKTAILS**

Leo V, Percy J, Piper M

**Piper**

Okay you two and Annabeth are the only ones who know about my thing

**Leo**

Your fall from hoe to hopeless romantic

**Piper**

Nicely put

**Percy**

what

**Piper**

My sort of crush on Reyna?

I literally told you yesterday before we dyed our pits

**Percy**

o yeah

u just said she was hot??

**Piper**

And then I ate fry up and chatted at her kitchen table for three hours??

She folded my bra the same way I fold my bras

It's meant to be

**Leo**

Relatable

Oh before I forget

[Leo changed the group chat name to _suolmates_ ]

**suolmates**

**Percy**

i too relate

**Piper**

Yes I've heard how dramatically and obnoxiously you fell for Annabeth

Speaking of

Can I add her?

I need you all to give me advice and help me gang up on Jason

**Leo**

Can confirm, Jason is being a dick rn

Even if he has no idea that his actions would affect you in any way

Hey quick suggestion

**Piper**

Dont even try it

I can see you typing Leo

Dont ask

**Leo**

Why don't we just tell Jason?

**Piper**

We are not telling Jason

I'm pissed at him

**Percy**

i know im not usually the "mature one"

but its a lil petty to be pissd at him for telling u something u didnt want to hear but never told him u didnt want to hear

**Piper**

Since when did you get all emotionally developed?

**Percy**

annabeth made me go to therapy

**Leo**

omg Jason made me and Piper go too

He said we had "intense trauma related emotional issues"

**Piper**

That dude sucked though

All he wanted to talk about was Freudian bullshit

**Percy**

maybe u could see my lady

shes nice

and wont imply that just cuz milfs are hot u wanna bang ur mom

**Piper**

Hm

We'll see

**Leo**

Slightly off topic but we should make a Venn diagram of the group

With mommy/daddy/both issues

**Piper**

omg Leo you're so smart

**Leo**

I know, I know

**Piper**

Anyway

Back to me

**Percy**

what else

**Leo**

Of course

**Piper**

Add Annabeth?

Or make a new group with her in it?

**Percy**

she wont care

she'll leave once ur sorted anyway

not a fan of too many chats

she actually has this list

where she ranks the chats and how often she uses them

like if no one says anything for more than a week she just leaves

**Leo**

omg that's why she left the birthday wishes group?

I thought she hated us

**Percy**

well

in high school she wasn't the hugest fan of u leo

not too keen on the "leo charm"

**Leo**

Thats understandable

Please tell your girlfriend she breaks my heart daily

**Percy**

she knows

**Piper**

Okay moving swiftly on

[Piper added Annabeth C to the chat]

[Leo changed the group chat name to _Help Piper Get Some (Romance)_ ]

**Help Piper Get Some (Romance)**

**Annabeth**

This is about Reyna, isn't it? 

**Leo**

Astute observations as always 

**Percy**

my gf is so smart 

**Piper**

Jason just told us to "keep an eye" on Reyna at cocktail night because shes going for Thalia

**Annabeth**

Lol no

Reyna is not Thalia's type

Well not anymore

**Percy**

not to distress u pipes 

but wtf reyna totally is thals type?? 

**Leo**

Nicely done Percy 

I see not even therapy can fix your bluntness 

**Annabeth**

He's getting better 

Not to mention that therapy isn't about changing your personality?

It's about dealing with your past and creating healthy ways of coping

Something you two could benefit from 

**Piper**

oOoO iM aNnAbEtH iM dEaLiNg WiTh My IsSuEs

My childhood was fine thank you very much

**Percy**

piper u gotta admit having ur dad ransomed isn't exactly normal 

**Leo**

No comment 

**Piper**

The only reason we're friends is because we ~trauma bonded~

Don't get too comfy 

**Annabeth**

Ha! 

So you admit it 

**Piper**

no comment 

Back to Reyna 

**Leo**

I bet you ten bucks she's in therapy too 

**Percy**

roma has free counselling for students 

frank told me most of the boarders use it 

**Piper**

oof 

**Annabeth**

Yes let's move along from your problematic views on therapy 

As I was saying 

Reyna isn't Thalia's type 

Thalia is going for more femme ladies right now 

**Leo**

Why do you know this??

**Annabeth**

I've known Thalia since I was 7? 

We share everything with each other 

**Percy**

its true 

**Piper**

Oof for Percy there 

**Annabeth**

Once again, moving on

You're going for shakes at Lotus on Wednesday, right?

**Leo**

omg why didn't I know abt this piper??

Who asked who? 

Is is a date? 

**Percy**

o this is serious serious 

u never take em on dates 

**Annabeth**

Piper seems to be getting over her commitment phobia

**Piper**

idk what you're talking about AnnaB

I don't have commitment issues

I am merely living it up while I'm still young and beautiful 

**Leo**

You physically shooed a girl out of our apartment when she tried to make you breakfast 

Like, with a broom 

**Piper**

She was annoying 

**Percy**

and u still slept with her? 

**Annabeth**

Oh Percy 

You really know nothing about Pipers love life if you think being annoying is a deal-breaker

**Piper**

ANYWAY

Yes Im getting shakes at Lotus with her

Omg its only a day away

**Leo**

I actually met a girl at orientation earlier 

And I was planning to take her to Lotus 

We could spin it as a double date? 

**Piper**

You just don't want her to think you're a serial killer by involving more girls

Very smsrt

**Percy**

SMSRT

**Leo**

SMSRT

**Annabeth**

I think it's a great idea Leo

[Leo changed the group chat name to _Leo is vv Smsrt_ ]

**Leo is vv Smsrt**

**Piper**

I hate you

**Leo**

No you don't <3

**Percy**

u should get a freakshake and be like o no its too much milkshake lets split it 

and then do the movie two straws thing 

**Piper**

Leo you have been replaced

Percy is now best man at my wedding

**Leo**

That would sting more if I didn't know you are 100% anti-marriage 

**Percy**

reynas big lady muscles have won her over 

**Leo**

gasp 

Is this true Piper??? 

How could you 

**Piper**

cant think,,, lady muscles too big,, brain too full 

**Annabeth**

Lady muscles aside

**Percy**

can we return to lady muscles soon tho

u have such nice ones babe

**Piper**

SHOW YOUR ABS ANNAB

**Leo**

Neither of you have a problem with Piper thirsting over Annabeths abs?

**Annabeth**

I can take a compliment

**Percy**

its just another thing we have in common

**Annabeth**

Exactly

Redirecting this conversation once again before we derail too drastically

Piper is taking Reyna for shakes on Wednesday

Leo is taking his mystery girl there at the same time

You'll both get freakshakes and split them with your lady

And Piper will sal the deal before Thalias cocktail night

Not that you have anything to worry about anyway

**Leo**

One problem 

Callie is lactose intolerant

**Percy**

callie?

**Piper**

Lactose intolerant??? 

Leo you've fucked our whole operation 

**Percy**

not callie atlas

**Leo**

Omg that's her??

How do you know Callie? 

She said she just moved here 

**Annabeth**

It's about time that came to bite you in the ass 

**Percy**

annabeth how can u be so unsympathetic??

shes gonna kill me 

**Leo**

wtf did you do? 

How do you even know her?

**Annabeth**

Percy and I were on one of our breaks 

**Piper**

Ah yes

My favourite disaster couple 

Didn't you have a break-up party where you got together again before it was even over? 

**Annabeth**

Oh don't act like you didn't take full advantage of those breaks 

**Leo**

Yeah Miss Tonsil Licker 

**Piper**

Hey I got you two back together with my tonsil licking thank you very much 

**Annabeth**

So we were on our break 

And Percy went on a vacation to Spain 

And Callie was there too 

And they had a little summer fling 

Exchanged emails 

And then Percy ignored her as soon as he got home 

**Percy**

a lot was happening!! 

that was the year my aunt kidnapped me for that weird family shit on my bio dads side incase u forgot??

**Piper**

I remember that! 

You missed our skate competition 

**Leo**

Of course that's what you took from that experience 

Also: still a dick move Percy! 

What if she never opens up to me because you hurt her so bad?

**Annabeth**

Leo, I love Percy very, very much

But there is no chance he had enough charm to break a girl's heart in just two weeks 

**Percy**

she only emailed me once 

i saw it when i was sorting out all the school admin bullshit after we got the restraining order 

**Annabeth**

See? 

**Piper**

I just checked 

Lotus has a vegan freakshake option 

All is not lost 

**Leo**

I first have to find out if poor Callie can ever trust again 

**Percy**

tell her im sorry?

**Leo**

Tell her yourself you rake 

**Annabeth**

Oooh nice use of the word rake Leo!

**Piper**

I made him watch period dramas for the corset cleavage and ~tender hand touches~

Don't mistake it for eloquence 

**Annabeth**

Kiera Knightley? 

**Piper**

Exactly 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> anybody wanna see the diagram?  
> also: yes i hc that annabeth and percy broke up like ten times in high school for dumb reasons, i also think they get engaged right after/halfway through uni and break off the engagement at least once before they're married. yes they love each other and are literally perfect but they're also so dumb sometimes and moderately impulsive (also they never have like, BAD breakups, they always stay friends after a week of fuming, and then a week or so later they get back together again) (this is also how both of them have hooked up with Piper)


	8. If I ever see you in a fedora I'm taking you to court over custody of your leather jacket

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *time skip ahead! this is now just after Reyna and Piper get shakes*

**Private message between Reyna ARA and Thalia G**

**Reyna**

Help 

As my best friends older sister, you owe me at least one (1) relationship advice 

It's the law 

**Thalia**

One condition 

You're not getting back with Jason are you? 

**Reyna**

What? 

Ew 

I thought we established firmly that I am on your side of the teams? 

**Thalia**

Just checking 

Who? 

**Reyna**

I will be speaking theoretically 

Hypothetically 

**Thalia**

Enough with the big words fancy-pants 

Tell me what happened

**Reyna**

So hypothetical girl asked me to get coffee

We shared a milkshake at Lotus

And her friend brought a girl with him

Very clearly a date

**Thalia**

You want to know if your shakes were also a date?

Newsflash they totally were

Keyword: _shared_

**Reyna**

Yes but

What if they weren't?

**Thalia**

She's not straight is she? 

Please tell me you're not stressing over a straight girl

**Reyna**

No!

She's bi

**Thalia**

Omg 

Reyna 

**Reyna**

I want you to keep your guesses to yourself

**Thalia**

Too late 

Its Piper isn't it

**Reyna**

No

Maybe

Shut up

**Thalia**

Reyna she is totally into you

**Reyna**

I'm not an idiot

I know that part

**Thalia**

Cocky much? 

**Reyna**

Oh please

Jason told me you and her practically fall into each other the moment you drink

"Aggressive flirting"

She's not subtle in her ogling

But

**Thalia**

You want to know if she's serious

Are you serious? 

**Reyna**

I mean

Kind of?

She's pretty, no denying that

And she's funny

We chatted for a solid three hours on Sunday

Did I tell you she left her bra at my place?

**Thalia**

I'm surprised she had one on to begin with 

Very free the nipple that one 

**Reyna**

I can tell I'm in too deep when that knowledge just seems endearing 

**Thalia**

Look I tell you what 

I will do some snooping 

And on cocktail night, you make your move, regardless of seriousness because god knows you could do with some action

**Reyna**

Hey!

You're not exactly the paragon of sexual prowess, Grace

**Thalia**

My sexual habits don't affect my ability to think about Piper objectively, Avila Ramirez Arellano

**Reyna**

Did you have to check my contact for my last names again? 

**Thalia**

Perhaps 

Not the point

**Reyna**

Fine!

Do your snooping

**Thalia**

As you wish, m'lady

**Reyna**

If I ever see you in a fedora I'm taking you to court over custody of your leather jacket

**Thalia**

You'll win if I've sunk low enough to wear a fucking fedora 

* * *

**Private message between Percy J and Thalia G**

**Thalia**

Seaweed brain

Did you know about Piper's date?

**Percy**

omg did piper rope u in too? 

**Thalia**

Thank you and goodnight

**Percy**

wait

why do i feel like piper didnt tell u

**Thalia**

Don't worry your little head Percy

Let the grown ups handle this

**Percy**

if i get in trouble with piper im blaming u

* * *

**Private message between Annabeth C and Thalia G**

**Thalia**

I know you're involved with this

1 attachment: chatscreenshot.jpg

**Annabeth**

Curse his trusting nature 

How dare you take advantage of him

**Thalia**

Admit it!

Piper is finally getting over her no-relationships rule and she's crushing hard on Reyna

**Annabeth**

Ugh!

Why are you involved??

**Thalia**

Oh no

I'm too smart for that

**Annabeth**

So you admit it

You're involved 

WAIT

Reyna wanted to know if it was a date, didn't she? 

And she went to you, her best gay friend

Jason or Frank would have been no help 

**Thalia**

You're too smart to be so pretty

**Annabeth**

So Reyna and Piper are both angling for a date but don't know the other one is? 

**Thalia**

Correct

**Annabeth**

Dumbasses

Tell Reyna Piper is head over heels 

**Thalia**

She knows that part

She wants to know if it's serious

**Annabeth**

It really seems like it

* * *

**Private message between Reyna ARA and Thalia G**

**Thalia**

Definitely a date

**Reyna**

Okay what do I do now though??

**Thalia**

Text her

Say you had a good time, mention how you've never had a milkshake date or something

God, without me you'd be useless 

**Reyna**

Can't hear you, I'm talking to Piper about our DATE

* * *

**1 unopened message from Reyna ARA** : _I had such a great time! I've never been on a double date_

* * *

**Help Piper Get Some (Romance)**

**Piper**

1 attachment: notificationsscreenshot.jpg

AHH

SHE CALLED IT A DOUBLE DATE

**Leo**

ANSWER HER DUMBASS

YOU CAN TELL US LATER

* * *

**Private message between Piper C and Reyna ARA**

**Reyna**

I had such a great time! I've never been on a double date

**Piper**

Im so glad you liked the shake!

If Im being totally honest, I definitely knew how big the freakshakes were

I just wanted to share with you

**Reyna**

While it's very cute that you're confessing to it

I kind of guessed when the vegan option worked perfectly for Leo and his date 

And they miraculously hadn't ordered yet

**Piper**

Damn

Am I that obvious?

Then you probably noticed how Ive been staring at you since your housewarming

**Reyna**

It was the pine twists wasn't it? 

**Piper**

WRONG

You tied your hair up and your biceps,, forgive a girl for staring

Im gonna be super honest again

Im so glad you called it a date

Now I can be way more forward

I was so worried you were gonna think it was just empty flirting

**Reyna**

That's so cute 

You didn't seem the romantic type, Piper

I'm guessing you leaving your bra behind was in the same vein as a lady giving her handkerchief to a knight? 

**Piper**

Yes totally lets go with that

I know you're going to Thalia's anyway

But do you wanna go as like, a date?

**Reyna**

I'd like that 

* * *

**Rap Sheet Longer Than Ur Dick**

Jason G, Leo V, Percy J, Piper M

**Piper**

Jason you are not allowed to ask why

But I have good information to suggest Reyna is, in fact, not interested in your sister

SUCK IT

**Jason**

wtf?

Ok

Did you interrogate her or something? 

**Leo**

Oh that's what the kids are calling it these days? 

**Annabeth**

It all worked out so you can't be mad at me and Percy! 

Thalia was meddling too!

**Piper**

What are you talking about? 

**Percy**

annabeth i love u but never admit to anything before being accused!

nothing happened piper 

no one said anything they shouldnt

**Piper**

Im choosing to ignore you weirdos 

Im too happy 

**Jason**

Seriously wtf is going on

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There will be one more chapter, epilogue vibes and such :) thank you all for coming along for the ride


	9. Chapter 9

1 year later

**Daddy Issues Inc.**

Annabeth C, Frank Z, Grover U, Jason G, Leo V, Nico dA, Percy J, Piper M, + 2 Others

**Percy**

I SAID YES

**Reyna**

Isn't it usually "She said yes"?

**Annabeth**

Percy dropped the ring in my spaghetti and then choked on an oyster, so I had to pull out my own little black box

He got very emotional

His tears may have been because of the oyster

**Jason**

Not to be a downer

**Piper**

Then dont

**Jason**

You're a bit young

We're only in our second year

**Annabeth**

Just because we're engaged doesn't mean we're getting married next Thursday

**Thalia**

Oddly specific but go on 

**Percy**

annabeth just wants to put a ring on it

so she has a trophy husband the second she graduates

isnt that right babe

**Annabeth**

Exactly

People shouldn't treat being engaged as a transition period, but rather the next step of a relationship, between dating and marriage

**Leo**

You guys are no fun

Me and Callie are never getting married 

**Piper**

What does Callie think about this?

**Leo**

Its her rule soo

**Annabeth**

It's gross how perfect you two are together

**Frank**

Congrats you two! 

**Piper**

Oh yeah congrats and all that

Are you having a hen do?

**Annabeth**

That's before a wedding, Pipes

**Piper**

Engagement party then

**Jason**

God you're a fiend Piper

You'd think you'd have calmed down on the parties after settling down

**Piper**

Im not settled!

Im in love

**Leo**

Awwww

**Percy**

what a day for romance, huh?

**Nico**

Does this mean Percy is moving out?

Can we get a new flatmate?

**Percy**

ouch!

my body isn't even cold yet :(

**Nico**

You're not dead, just married

**Annabeth**

Not married!

Engaged

**Grover**

Congrats! 

Juni says congrats as well

**Piper**

Youd think shed have a phone by now

**Grover**

To much spyware

One works just fine

**Percy**

stoner hippies are my favourite people 

* * *

**Percabeth Betting Pool**

Jason G, Leo V, Nico dA, Piper M, Thalia G

**Piper**

10 bucks says Annabeth breaks it off before September

**Leo**

Yes, but 5 says they have make up sex at our place, then get back together before October

**Jason**

Can I put 10 on Percy dramatically throwing his ring at Annabeth at least once? 

**Nico**

Too vague

**Jason**

Ugh

Before Chrismas then

**Nico**

You're on 

I think twice 

**Jason**

Once is enough

Right?

**Piper**

Youve fucked yourself here Jaybird

**Thalia**

You are aware that this is not how betting works?

Leo, you can't agree with someone and take their bet?

That's counter productive

**Reyna**

Shhhh they're having fun

It's not like any of them even have ten bucks to spare

* * *

**Private message between Piper M and Reyna ARA**

**Piper**

I know its not the best first time to say it

But I already said it on the groupchat

And I whispered it into your wineglass one time

**Reyna**

I know babe

I didn't need you to say it

But I heard you

I figured you were just too nervous about what I would say 

Didn't want to push

So no more worrying

Me too

**Piper**

Oh thank god

Come over?

I wanna say it out loud

* * *

**Private message between Leo V and Piper M**

**Piper**

Make yourself scarce

Me and Reyna basically said I love you and she's coming over

Come back in two days

**Leo**

You only just said I love you???

It's been a year!

Your one year anniversary is in a week??

**Piper**

I had to be sure!

I said it in my head a lot

She said she knew

Didn't need me to say it out loud

**Leo**

You really are hopeless

Me and Callie said it in like a week

Well

I said it and she said "that's really sweet"

And then a month later she started saying it back

**Piper**

SEE IF REYNA DID THAT TO ME I WOULD DIE

**Leo**

Toughen up

They learn to love you eventually 

**Piper**

Whatever

Its been said, doesn't matter how long it took

Reyna will be here in ten

So scram

**Leo**

Yessir

* * *

**Private message between Piper M and Reyna ARA**

**Piper**

Babee

babyyyy

come back :(

**Reyna**

Piper I'm literally in the bathroom

I've been here for less than a minute

**Piper**

I love you

Bed's cold without you :(

**Reyna**

You're insufferable

I love you too

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i desperately wanted to wrap this up before my motivation fucked off, but i will do more chat fics!! they're really fun   
> maybe in this universe, maybe in a different one, idk   
> anyway thanks for reading! :))


End file.
